Tougher Than I Anticipated

I knew today was not going to be awesome. But it turned out to be a little tougher than I thought. I have been part of a February mommies message board since I found out I was pregnant in June. I have followed many women's stories, including the births of now 9 babies (8 mommies), including Lyric (who was first). Aside from Lyric, as far as I know, all the babies are doing well. Last night we heard news of baby Peyton, born 2 lb 15 oz. That's all we heard. This worried me a little, but I pushed the thought out of my mind and said to myself that everything is fine and mommy is just busy, she will let us know when she can. We are, after all, probably last on her list of people to update (which is totally okay!). Well I opened the page this morning after my dad left and saw the post that said baby Peyton lost her fight to a blood infection. My heart sank and I was immediately attached to Peyton and her mother. As much pain as you can feel for someone else in the situation, you can never know what it really is unless you have felt it yourself. I did not know how true this was until I read the news this morning. I barely know this woman, and I feel this compelling feeling to rush to her and hug her so tightly and never let go. I never wanted to take someone's pain away like I do for Peyton's mommy. The thought of someone else having to go through what I did a month ago makes me hurt more. No mother should have to ever say goodbye to a child, let alone have to say it right after their very unxepected early delivery.

Lyric, be on the lookout for Peyton, she needs a friend. Tell her that it will be okay and that she will see mommy again. Until then, play together, and watch over us and your future siblings.  We love you and miss you both.

"Your wee little life has changed me. The day you were born was like a new beginning for me too; a change that will forever lay soft in my heart. Everything in my life is sweeter because of you. The days and fleeting moments with you were only a breath in time. They lingered briefly and flew away. You are precious in every way; the sunshine in my day, the joy in my soul, and the love of my life. Love you forever, Mom"